Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Mind Your Own Business


Byron Katie is an author and speaker who created a powerful process called “The Work.” In her first book, Loving What Is, Katie suggests that there are three types of business in the world: “My Business,” “Your Business” (“Other People’s Business”), and God’s Business. She points out that anytime you find yourself in “Other People’s Business” or “God’s Business,” you feel stressed. Why? Because you don’t have any business in “Other People’s Business” or “God’s Business.” When you’re in “Other People’s Business,” or “God’s Business,” you have no control and no influence. In fact, when you’re in “Other 

 
People’s Business” or “God’s Business,” you are powerless.[1]
Put another way, when you’re in “Other People’s Business,” or “God’s Business,” you’re in Victim Consciousness, so any action you take will only make things worse.
You may find it difficult to grasp the difference between “My Business,” and “Other People’s Business,” so here’s some helpful advice. If you can’t seem to find the line that divides “My Business” from “Other People’s Business,” look behind you.
Anytime you find yourself feeling angry or stressed, chances are, you’re in Victim Consciousness. All you have to do in order to step back into integrity is ask yourself, “Whose business is it?”
Now, I like to think that I can spot an idea for a good game show a mile away. I did, in fact, have a chance to pitch my idea for Whose Business Is It? to Howie Mandel’s people at NBC Universal. Unfortunately, they said “No deal.” I remained undaunted by their obvious lack of vision (after all, these are the same people who, all evidence to the contrary, still believe that “America’s Got Talent”), and filmed an episode anyway. You can watch it online at www.GetAngryGetHappy.com. Meanwhile, I’ll teach you how to play the home version.
In order for something to be “My Business,” it has to meet three criteria:
1. It must affect you, personally, right now.
2. It must be your responsibility.
3. You must be able to do something about it.
Unless a situation meets all three criteria, it is none of your business.
Remember, just because you’re involved in something doesn’t mean it’s any of your business!
Most people get hung up on #3, so let me take a moment to elaborate. Your being able to do something about a situation means that you are able to adjust, change, modify or alter the circumstances in some way. Note that if changing, adjusting, modifying or altering the circumstances requires that you get other people to change their behavior, you’re wasting your time. There is nothing you can do to get anyone else to behave the way you would like them to behave. (If you don’t believe me, ask my father.) If you can accept that you have no power to change anyone else’s behavior, you’ll save yourself a tremendous amount of suffering, and significantly reduce the amount of time you spend in Victim Consciousness.
When you discover that you’re involved in a situation that is not your business, stop, take a step back, say, “This situation is none of my business,” and then drop it.
For example:
“The economy is none of my business.”
“The government is none of my business.”
“Other people’s marriages are none of my business.”
“What my mother thinks of me is none of my business.”
When you drop the story and step back into “My Business,” you’ll no longer feel angry; however, you will still have all of the energy of your anger available to you. It’s important that you use this energy yourself—otherwise, other people will steal it from you.
Take this extra energy and work it off at the gym. Use it to clean your garage, do your taxes, or remodel your kitchen. Whatever you do, don’t take any action that has anything at all to do with the story that was making you angry. The more you practice this, the more comfortable you will become using your own energy. In time, you’ll be able to store this extra energy and use it to become truly, completely happy. This is the first step towards mastering your anger.
___________________

Kevin B. Burk has been helping people around the world to improve their lives and relationships since 1996 through his astrological counseling and relationship coaching practice. His humor, wisdom and compassion are always present, in his books (ten so far, including Astrology: Understanding the Birth Chart, The Relationship Handbook: How to Understand and Improve Every Relationship in Your Life, and his newest book, Anger Mastery: Get Angry, Get Happy), his classes and workshops, and his interactions with his clients and students. Kevin’s focus is always on the practical, exploring how we can actually use astrology and spiritual practice on a daily basis to transform our lives.
In the astrology world, he is best known for making Classical Astrology accessible to everyone, taking complex and abstract concepts and showing how they can be used to create concrete, specific and practical interpretations. Kevin’s website, The Real Astrology with Kevin B. Burk is one of the premiere astrology resources on the Internet. His book, Astrology: Understanding the Birth Chart is a textbook used at Kepler University in their Undergraduate Astrology Degree program, and has been translated into Russian, and is currently being translated into Bulgarian. Kevin’s articles have appeared in The Mountain Astrologer, the Australian publication,Well Being Astrology, and in Llewellyn’s Moon Sign books.
In the non-astrology world, Kevin is best known for his unique approach to understanding and improving all human relationships through The Relationship Handbook andThe Relationship Workshops.
Kevin has released a series of DVDs of his Law of Attraction workshops: the self-contained Prosperity & The Law of Attraction, and Astrology & The Law of Attraction, a series of 7 DVDs recorded live in Houston, TX at a weekend workshop for the Gulf Coast Chapter of NCGR.
Kevin has developed a revolutionary program for spiritual growth called Archetypal Astrology: The Hero’s Journey. This intensive program guides participants through the process of meeting and moving into Right Relationship with each of the seven Astrological Archetypes (you may know them as the seven personal planets).
Kevin is currently synthesizing astrology and spirituality into his next series of books: Astrology & The Law of Attraction, Prosperity & The Law of Attraction andRelationships & The Law of Attraction.
You can visit Kevin’s website at www.GetAngryGetHappy.com.
To get your paperback copy of  ANGER MASTERY by Kevin Burk: http://www.amazon.com/Anger-Mastery-Kevin-B-Burk/dp/0975968238
To purchase a copy of ANGER MASTERY at Barnes & Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/anger-mastery-kevin-b-burk/1104012568
Buy the book directly from the author at www.GetAngryGetHappy.com
Like Kevin Burk on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AngerMastery
__________
ABOUT ANGER MASTERY
Author Kevin B. Burk wants to make you angry. Burk believes that getting angry is the first step to happiness, and his newest book, Anger Mastery: Get Angry, Get Happy shows you how.
“Anger is like fire,” says Burk. “When you master it, it’s a powerful source of energy. If you don’t master it, however, it can be dangerous and destructive.” More importantly, Burk asserts, until you master your anger, other people will steal your energy, your power, and your ability to be happy.
The Anger Mastery Process has three phases. In Phase 1, you learn how to use more of your own energy, which makes it harder for other people to steal it from you. (This involves going to the gym at least five times a week.) You also learn how to leave Victim Consciousness and move into integrity by answering the question, “Whose business is it?”
Phase 2 of the Anger Mastery process helps you to stay out of Victim Consciousness by learning how to feel Safe. You meet your Safety Needs with a tool called the Present Moment Awareness Safety Meditation, available for free at www.GetAngryGetHappy.com.
By the time you complete Phase 2, you will already notice significant changes in your life. In particular, you will have considerably more energy. Phase 3 shows you how to use that energy to become truly, completely happy.
Anger Mastery is not your typical book on anger. Not only is Burk’s approach unique, but also the book itself is laugh-out-loud funny. “Humor is a powerful tool to shift consciousness,” said Burk. “Laughter instantly transforms anger. Plus, funny sells more books.”


[1] Byron Katie, Loving What Is: Four Questions that Can Change Your Life (New York” Harmony Books, 2002), 3.



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