First Draft to Published

Have you had enough of those harassing sales calls, or people asking you to donate money, enticements to refinance your home loan or others? Well, I got so tired of the same calls that I decided to play their game. I left this message for incoming calls on my answering machine. ...... I’m not here right now and if you’re calling for a donation, I’m afraid that as a taxpayer all my money has given to AIG and other institutions that have asked for bailout money. Better luck next year. If you’re the attorney calling for Suzy Homemaker, I’m sure you are a smart guy, after all, you passed the bar exam, but don’t you think that after so many years of leaving the same message with no return call you might ask yourself why? Get a clue, Suzy doesn’t live here, never will. If you’re calling from some mortgage company and wanting to provide me with the latest and greatest home loan, sorry I’m fresh out of patience to do all that paperwork. If you’re calling from my kids schools to tell me one of ...

Did Verizon overhear my conversation with my kids because now they are using my famous line “Can You Hear Me Now” in one of their television commercials? It’s the commercial where the Verizon technician walks around to different locations and asks “Can You Hear Me Now?” Could I possibly collect royalty payments from Verizon, since I was using the phrase before them? Being a working mom means most of my parenting during the day has been conducted by way of a phone call to my kids at home. Count the number of times I use the phrase “Can you hear me now” in this phone conversation. Hello, are you there. Can you hear me now? I ask. “Yeah mom, I’m here”, moans my tired son. I don’t understand why he’s still tired as he’s just now crawling out of bed and it’s already early afternoon. I’ve been awake for half the day and feeling like I need a nap. Trying to be understanding, (after all he did work an eight hour shift and was getting home when I was going to bed), I politely say “After you wa...