Ten Life Lessons for Loving Yourself as a Black Woman

Lessons Learned Loving Yourself is comprised of 10 Life Lessons in which the author expresses the positive for Loving Yourself as a Black woman. Author Tinisha Johnson tells us she came up with the idea for each chapter, the research, meditation, and/or consultation with experts that went into these lessons. She reveals how this book came through her own experience of trying to find the positive in her life?

The book Lessons Learned: Loving Yourself as a Black Woman is comprised of ten life lessons which are as follows:

Lesson 1: Happiness is Free and is Found Within You—It is Not Something You Go Looking For

Lesson 2: Stop Trying to Control Others and Start Controlling Your Life

Lesson 3: Don’t Allow Anyone to Fool You into Thinking What Your Worth is as a Black Woman

Lesson 4: Set Goals, and Exercise Your Mind and Body, While Practicing Better Decision-Making

Lesson 5: Smile, Thank God for What You Already Have and Keep the Hope Alive

Lesson 6: Love Yourself Enough to Know if You Are in a Healthy and Loving Relationship

Lesson 7: Don’t Sacrifice Your Soul

Lesson 8: Be Positive, Look Your Best, Not Anyone Else’s Best, and Fight Off Your Fears

Lesson 9: Love Your Sister as You Do Yourself

Lesson 10: Pray and Play with Your Children and Family


I thought of these ten lessons though something called ‘Life.’ The Hard Knock Life to be exact. If you were to look up the phrase the hard knock life in an urban dictionary, it would give the following definition: “To have a life that is difficult, where the elements of the world seem to be against you all the time.”

My research for Lessons Learned is referenced at the end of the book under References. However, most of what is written is based off my experiences, and the experiences of other women I talked with or researched.

Lesson 1 has to deal with the most important feeling in the world, and that’s happiness. Everyone wants it, but few keep it, even if they do find it, some don’t see it, or have a clue that it’s closer than they think. I was definitely in the category of not having a clue.

Lesson 2 is about self-control. It’s easy to want to try to control others, but when it comes to self-control that’s where many women are lacking.

Lesson 3 is about your worth as a woman. I would say this lesson is why I decided to write a book that caters directly to black women. I’m a black woman of course, and in my personal life from childhood on, I’ve had to deal with both sexism, racism, and growing up in a school where there were more whites than me – living a world where there are more whites, and sometimes being treated, or should I say, I had a perception that the color of my skin and texture of my hair was a curse or not get enough. I found out I was not the only woman of color that had these issues or perceptions. I wanted to address some of these issues, and it’s not only addressed in Lesson 3, it’s hinted throughout the entire book, because many women of color are hiding behind issues of race and hair texture. It’s shocking sometimes when I tell my white friends this, and it’s a subject that’s not really addressed in public.

Lesson 4 is about setting goals and the decisions that we make in our lives that can make or break us.

Lesson 5 is about being thankful and grateful for what we have. This is how I try to live my life. Giving to others and helping others while being grateful is something I’ve learned. It feels good to give to others, and it’s like therapy to be honest. I always try to find ways to help others, even if it’s just offering some kind words of encouragement.

Lesson 6 – Some women don’t recognize when they are in destructive relationships, or they are simply in denial. This lesson expands on the correlation between how you treat yourself, and how you allow others to treat you, particularly men.

Lesson 7 – As a woman, we are more emotional creatures, and I believe we love harder than men do. With that being said, some women will do anything just to be or feel loved, and this includes sacrificing their soul. This lesson describes ways women, particular black women sacrifice their soul to feel loved.

Lesson 8 – Fear is one of the most destructive negative feelings that many use when they are insecure or scared. I address how feeling positive will overcome your feelings of fear. I provide examples and suggestions.

Lesson 9 – This lesson is about the importance of women friends.

Lesson 10 is about family and children and balance. When women aren’t happy, it has a direct effect on their children. I talk more in depth about this.





About the Author:
Tinisha Nicole Johnson is an author, writer, and poet. She resides in Denver, Colorado with her two children. Besides writing, Tinisha also hosts political and sports teleconferences as a profession. To date, Tinisha has written five books. She is also co-founder of Authors Supporting Authors (ASA) a non-profit group that provides support to other authors and promotes literacy.

You can visit Tinisha’s website

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